Last week seems so far away. I can't actually remember a lot of stuff that happened.
Monday was Alan's birthday. It was awesome!! There was a dance party in the middle of Ryan's. Of course the classic cake and ice cream, which was followed by frosting food fight. Later than we went to get some frozen yogurt. It was such a great night.
The worst part of that night was that our air conditioner died. None of us slept well that night because our rooms got so hot! We didn't get the air conditioner fixed then until Thursday afternoon, so after a couple of days of 100 degrees our house was really hot. Wednesday night we had to spend the night at Ryan's because our house was too hot. We were so thankful by Thursday evening.
Thursday night a few of us went to the midnight premier of Dark Knight Rises. It was epic! I haven't been a huge fan of Batman in years past, but I wanted to go for the experience. I love that type of atmosphere! What made it even better was that we decided to go on a whim, like 3 hours before it started. The only bad part about that night was that I only got two hours of sleep.
Even thought I only got two hours of sleep, God had a lot of grace on me. I felt pretty refreshed when I woke up and then service was super great. I aware of Him most of the time and I was able to spend a lot of time in prayer while working with the kids. That afternoon we had our second beach outing with the inner city guys that Jeff works out with. We had a few more guys this time so that was awesome. We all had a lot of fun hanging out. I thought I would be super tired by that point, but I still had so much energy.
After the beach outing us second year guys headed back up to Pella for the weekend. We didn't get to Pella until almost 10:00pm and after we pulled in I hung out with some of the interns and a few of the staff until midnight.
It was so awesome how God was my strength that day, even if the reason I got so little sleep was for my own enjoyment. I think that just goes to show us how God cares for His children and wants us to have fun in the midst of serving and loving Him. He loves what we love and He wants us to delight in Him in the things that we enjoy.
That's a quick run down of last week. I can't believe after this week we only have one week left, and that's the wilderness trip. CRAZY!!! This summer has gone by so fast!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Week 7: Psalm 137
Last week was a pretty average week. I don't remember a lot of stuff that happened during the week. There was the normal challenges with the kids at Kansas City Urban Youth, we had our five mile challenge, which was a challenge, and our Friday night movie night. The one thing that was out of the ordinary was that my parents came down for the weekend.
It was so good to see them. I gave them a tour of our inner city house and we went to the World War I museum. After that we went out to eat and did some shopping. On Sunday we went to church together with a couple of other interns. We went to Redeemer Fellowship, which we had heard about from Aaron, an Ascent staff. It was awesome!
The worship team had a folk sound, complete with banjo. It was very interesting, but refreshing, something different from what I have grown up with. For two of their songs we sang Psalms, which was just a really cool experience. The sermon was on Psalm 137, which isn't often a Psalm talked about. The main focus was on verse 4 which says...
It was so good to see them. I gave them a tour of our inner city house and we went to the World War I museum. After that we went out to eat and did some shopping. On Sunday we went to church together with a couple of other interns. We went to Redeemer Fellowship, which we had heard about from Aaron, an Ascent staff. It was awesome!
The worship team had a folk sound, complete with banjo. It was very interesting, but refreshing, something different from what I have grown up with. For two of their songs we sang Psalms, which was just a really cool experience. The sermon was on Psalm 137, which isn't often a Psalm talked about. The main focus was on verse 4 which says...
How shall we sing the LORD's song while in a foreign land?
Much of the time then was talking about how hard it is to praise God in the midst of suffering. The man giving the sermon was very vulnerable in sharing part of his family's suffering. It reminded me of a teaching we had early this summer of what true worship it. Ryan taught that true worship is agreeing to God's will in every aspect, even in the midst of challenges or suffering. This was all really good to hear and had a major impact on my heart. I think my favorite part however was the very end of Psalm 137.
Oh daughter of Babylon, doomed to be destroyed, blessed shall he be who repays you with what you have done to us! Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock! Psalm 137:8-9
The guy preaching talked about how many churches and theologians do not believe that this belongs in the Bible. That this prayer right here is not the inspired Word of God. That is why it is often ignored in churches. I was so glad then, that he took on the challenge of preaching from this Psalm.
He said that this is very much inspired by God. He explained the situation that Israel was in during this time, that they were in captivity and that their captors did these things to the children of Israel. This prayer then is a cry for justice. The people of Israel would have remembered the words spoken by the prophets, of how YAHWEH would bring justice to those who persecuted His people. This is still true for us today. As we read the book of Revelation we see Jesus as a passionate, loving Judge, who desires to bring justice. We can be sure that He is going to bring about justice for all the times that we have experienced pain.
These verses then are a prayer, reminding God of promises that He has made, not because He has forgotten, but for us to acknowledge them and then partnering and agreeing with Him. It also helps us realize how to sing the LORD'S song in the midst of suffering.
Another huge thing that I took away from these verses is that it encourages us to be real with God. He already knows what we are going through and what are thoughts are. He desires us to be real with Him even if that isn't always pretty. We get so good about putting on faces for those that we see face to face during the day, that we then can't be real with God. He doesn't care if we are all put together when we come before Him, actually I wonder if He prefers that we aren't, that way we have to acknowledge that we NEED Him!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Week Six: My Own Little World
Last week was jam packed with activities with the other interns and intense revelations during my prayer time. I'm not really sure where I want to begin...
On the Fourth of July we discussed the different books that we had read for the first half of the summer. The book that I read, along with the rest of the second years, was Beyond Racial Gridlock by George Yancey. It was a really good book. I don't want to share all of it because there is a lot that Yancey discussed, plus you should probably just go read it yourself. The main point of the book was looking at how our secular theories of trying to solve racism will never work, because they do not contain Jesus. Yancey's model was called mutual responsibility, and it reveals that both European Americans and African Americans have sinned against one another, whether it be individualistically or corporately. He then talked about corporate repentance and forgiveness. Yancey also looked at the way that Jesus addressed racial difference. It is a great book and I would really suggest!
After our book discussion we had lunch all together at the Faust house and then spent the afternoon at the World War I museum here in Kansas City. It was a really great place to spend Independence Day, reminding us that our freedom here in America does not come without a cost, nor does our spiritual freedom. It was also great because there is not usually a lot of focus on WWI, so it was good to be reminded of the whole story behind the war. Museums are just cool in general because they bring about a reality to the things I learned in history class.
In the evening we went to this giant Fourth of July get together here in Kansas City. It was a lot of fun, being surrounded by thousands of people celebrating our independence. We did some grilling, played a few games, and just had some really good, genuine, conversations. And then of course we watched an awesome fireworks show. It was a great day!!
God spoke to me so much last week. One of the main ways God spoke was through one of my kids at KCUYC. One of the little boys that I work with, might be autistic. He hasn't been tested, but his older brother is and he shows some serious signs. He spends most of his day in his own little world and it is really hard for any of the teachers to get, and keep his attention. On Monday during our teaching Ryan brought up how I had fallen in love with my kids last summer and God spoke to me using them. As I heard this I just internally asked God to reveal to me different ways He is using these kids to speak to me this summer. Immediately I felt like God say that I was this little boy.
At first I was thrown off by this, but then God explained to me. Just like this little boy I spend most of my time in my own little world, not even aware of His existence. I'm not aware that He is desiring to speak to me, calling my attention back to Him hundreds of times a day. He is continually saying "Tate. Tate! Tate, I need your eyes to be on me."
This struck me so hard that I was blown away. It was so true. This did not only make me more aware of how God is desiring to speak to me during the day, but it also helped my relationship with this little boy. The next day I had a lot more patience in working with him. I spoke more tenderly and changed my whole heart posture as I interacted with him. I saw myself as an ambassador of the LORD and realized that He desired me to treat this little boy the way that He treats me, with a deep love.
Another area where God really spoke to me last week was through art. Early on in the week God was revealing to me how He enjoys the things that I enjoy and one of those areas are the Arts. Sometimes it is really hard to accept this is something I enjoy and desire, because in the world this is seen as feminine. God wants to change that for me. He helped reveal to me that Arts are masculine because it is a way that God penetrates the hardest of hearts.
As I sat with this later on in the week I felt like God inviting me into spending part of my prayer on Thursday partnering with Him in creating. I was a little reluctant, but did it anyway. As I was drawing I became upset realizing that what I was doing, wasn't that great. I really struggled with this. God wants to use art to penetrate through the hearts of people, but how can He do that if what I am creating isn't that great and probably won't ever be displayed?
As I sat with God thinking about this I became more and more frustrated. How then, is the art that I am creating masculine? Very quickly I felt God answer. I heard that art takes a lot of time and effort to reach the final product. It includes perseverance and pressing in, which is part of the true masculine. After I heard that I was then able to press in and finish the project that I was working on, enjoying co-creating with the Creator.
Prayer Requests
On the Fourth of July we discussed the different books that we had read for the first half of the summer. The book that I read, along with the rest of the second years, was Beyond Racial Gridlock by George Yancey. It was a really good book. I don't want to share all of it because there is a lot that Yancey discussed, plus you should probably just go read it yourself. The main point of the book was looking at how our secular theories of trying to solve racism will never work, because they do not contain Jesus. Yancey's model was called mutual responsibility, and it reveals that both European Americans and African Americans have sinned against one another, whether it be individualistically or corporately. He then talked about corporate repentance and forgiveness. Yancey also looked at the way that Jesus addressed racial difference. It is a great book and I would really suggest!
After our book discussion we had lunch all together at the Faust house and then spent the afternoon at the World War I museum here in Kansas City. It was a really great place to spend Independence Day, reminding us that our freedom here in America does not come without a cost, nor does our spiritual freedom. It was also great because there is not usually a lot of focus on WWI, so it was good to be reminded of the whole story behind the war. Museums are just cool in general because they bring about a reality to the things I learned in history class.
In the evening we went to this giant Fourth of July get together here in Kansas City. It was a lot of fun, being surrounded by thousands of people celebrating our independence. We did some grilling, played a few games, and just had some really good, genuine, conversations. And then of course we watched an awesome fireworks show. It was a great day!!
God spoke to me so much last week. One of the main ways God spoke was through one of my kids at KCUYC. One of the little boys that I work with, might be autistic. He hasn't been tested, but his older brother is and he shows some serious signs. He spends most of his day in his own little world and it is really hard for any of the teachers to get, and keep his attention. On Monday during our teaching Ryan brought up how I had fallen in love with my kids last summer and God spoke to me using them. As I heard this I just internally asked God to reveal to me different ways He is using these kids to speak to me this summer. Immediately I felt like God say that I was this little boy.
At first I was thrown off by this, but then God explained to me. Just like this little boy I spend most of my time in my own little world, not even aware of His existence. I'm not aware that He is desiring to speak to me, calling my attention back to Him hundreds of times a day. He is continually saying "Tate. Tate! Tate, I need your eyes to be on me."
This struck me so hard that I was blown away. It was so true. This did not only make me more aware of how God is desiring to speak to me during the day, but it also helped my relationship with this little boy. The next day I had a lot more patience in working with him. I spoke more tenderly and changed my whole heart posture as I interacted with him. I saw myself as an ambassador of the LORD and realized that He desired me to treat this little boy the way that He treats me, with a deep love.
Another area where God really spoke to me last week was through art. Early on in the week God was revealing to me how He enjoys the things that I enjoy and one of those areas are the Arts. Sometimes it is really hard to accept this is something I enjoy and desire, because in the world this is seen as feminine. God wants to change that for me. He helped reveal to me that Arts are masculine because it is a way that God penetrates the hardest of hearts.
As I sat with this later on in the week I felt like God inviting me into spending part of my prayer on Thursday partnering with Him in creating. I was a little reluctant, but did it anyway. As I was drawing I became upset realizing that what I was doing, wasn't that great. I really struggled with this. God wants to use art to penetrate through the hearts of people, but how can He do that if what I am creating isn't that great and probably won't ever be displayed?
As I sat with God thinking about this I became more and more frustrated. How then, is the art that I am creating masculine? Very quickly I felt God answer. I heard that art takes a lot of time and effort to reach the final product. It includes perseverance and pressing in, which is part of the true masculine. After I heard that I was then able to press in and finish the project that I was working on, enjoying co-creating with the Creator.
Prayer Requests
- That I would continually be being made more aware of the ways God is trying to speak to me.
- That I would continue learning how to embrace the things that I enjoy and the things that God might be inviting me into, even when it seems risky.
- That we as interns would continue growing closer together as a community.
- We have another movie night this Friday, so that we would have lots of people and have good interaction with those who show up.
- We have our five mile challenge this week, I'm sure I will need prayer for that!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Week Five: Questions
Let me do a quick run down of last week for you...
I wanted to expand more on the ways God has been leading me as I work with my little kids. If you remember I have been spending a lot in prayer, asking for wisdom on working with these wonderfully, energetic boys. My first week working them I was really passive and it was really hard to get anything accomplished. That's when I started getting really strict. I felt like I was constantly yelling at them to be quiet and to sit down. This seemed to be effective and I justified by thinking that I was getting stuff done. In the middle of the week I felt really convicted of this, not necessarily saying that I shouldn't me strict at all, but that my heart posture behind it was not life giving, for me or the kids.
Once this was brought to my attention I spent time asking God what He wanted me to do instead. As I sat with this question I was reminded of how Jesus taught, with a lot of questions. I then felt like I heard, ask questions. I wasn't really sure what this meant, so I asked Him to expand on it, but got nothing. This all happened one morning before I went to serve, so I tried to make myself aware of different places where God was inviting to ask questions as I taught.
That day the kids were really talkative and squarely, like usual. It would have been really easy to get frustrated, which I'm pretty sure I did a little bit, but then I was reminded of what God had spoke to me earlier that morning. Once I finally got their attention and got them to sit down I explained to them that they couldn't always be doing that. I then asked them if they thought it was fair for them to get checkmarks if they continued to do what they were doing. A couple of them didn't like that idea, but most of them agreed, so that is what we did. This helped me to not be passive, but to discipline with a pure heart. The kids also knew my expectations.
I have also had other opportunities to ask questions while I am trying to teach. Sometimes it is asking them simple questions. Other times it has been asking them to help me in different ways. It has been working out really well actually. Thank you God!! It is so cool how He answers our prayers when we ask.
"For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." -Matthew 7:8
- Monday was Kevin's birthday so all the interns decided to spend the night together. To celebrate we made him jello cake and then went to the new movie Brave. I think we all enjoyed our night together.
- Tuesday was a pretty normal day, spending our afternoon in the prayer room. For the evening we spent our time interceding over Kansas City and our different places of service.
- Wednesday afternoon after our manuscript study Emily and I welcomed around 10 kids into the Faust house for the art club. That was the most we've ever had, so we were really excited. We spent time creating books. The kids had a lot of fun painting and coloring, creating their covers. It was a lot of fun for Emily and I as we watched the kids create.
- Early Thursday morning we had our second running challenge. It has been terribly hot down in Kansas City, as I'm sure it has been through out the United States. It was still pretty hot at 6:00 in the morning, but we did!
- Most of the interns left for the weekend, so only three of us were left. On Friday night we had our usual movie night, which was a lot of fun. We had quite a few people over for the night and watched Thor.
- Saturday a few of us practiced shooting a bow and arrow, which was fun especially since I haven't done that since high school. That night all the interns that were left for the weekend and a couple of staff members went out to eat at Lew's Bar and Grill. The food was soooo good! After that we walked around the neighborhood we were in and then played Loaded Questions back Ryan's house. It was sad that not all the interns could enjoy the weekend with us, but it was we still had fun!
I wanted to expand more on the ways God has been leading me as I work with my little kids. If you remember I have been spending a lot in prayer, asking for wisdom on working with these wonderfully, energetic boys. My first week working them I was really passive and it was really hard to get anything accomplished. That's when I started getting really strict. I felt like I was constantly yelling at them to be quiet and to sit down. This seemed to be effective and I justified by thinking that I was getting stuff done. In the middle of the week I felt really convicted of this, not necessarily saying that I shouldn't me strict at all, but that my heart posture behind it was not life giving, for me or the kids.
Once this was brought to my attention I spent time asking God what He wanted me to do instead. As I sat with this question I was reminded of how Jesus taught, with a lot of questions. I then felt like I heard, ask questions. I wasn't really sure what this meant, so I asked Him to expand on it, but got nothing. This all happened one morning before I went to serve, so I tried to make myself aware of different places where God was inviting to ask questions as I taught.
That day the kids were really talkative and squarely, like usual. It would have been really easy to get frustrated, which I'm pretty sure I did a little bit, but then I was reminded of what God had spoke to me earlier that morning. Once I finally got their attention and got them to sit down I explained to them that they couldn't always be doing that. I then asked them if they thought it was fair for them to get checkmarks if they continued to do what they were doing. A couple of them didn't like that idea, but most of them agreed, so that is what we did. This helped me to not be passive, but to discipline with a pure heart. The kids also knew my expectations.
I have also had other opportunities to ask questions while I am trying to teach. Sometimes it is asking them simple questions. Other times it has been asking them to help me in different ways. It has been working out really well actually. Thank you God!! It is so cool how He answers our prayers when we ask.
"For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." -Matthew 7:8
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